The Greatest Threat to America
Despite my best efforts to keep the popular press at bay, shouting headlines cannot always be avoided. Over the past few weeks I have placed the pieces together and have arrived at the conclusion that, apparently, the greatest threat facing our country today is hordes of gay Mexicans wishing to illegally cross our borders so that they can lobby to get married, use all of our oil, and demand that our schools teach evolution. This will, of course, signal the "end times". I imagine that somewhere there is a bible code that predicts this and that an hour long special about it will be broadcast soon on the History Channel.
Remember, you read it here first.